Cold sweats, shivers down the spine, your entire life flashing before your eyes… These symptoms can herald two things – an incoming execution or a drug test before getting the job of your dreams.
Yup, we’ve all been there at some point, don’t worry.
You see, even in states where cannabis is entirely legal, employers can still test you for the presence of THC because hey, it’s still considered a Schedule I drug under the federal law.
So, even if you don’t do drugs, chances are that you might not be completely clean before the drug test.
Now, before you abandon all hope, take a look at our comprehensive guide on how to pass a drug test. We have covered both the essentials and some minor tricks that can help you get through the ordeal with cold blood instead of cold sweats.
4 Types of Drug Tests You Must Be Aware Of
On the one hand, the tech-forward era we live in provides us with a myriad of opportunities to make our lives a whole lot easier. But on the other hand, it gives employers more opportunities to test their future teammates for the presence of drugs.
As you can see, the balance between the good and evil must be preserved.
Anyway, when applying for a job that requires you to see if there are any drugs in your system, be aware of these four types of drug tests:
1. Urine Analysis
Urine analysis is by far the most common type of drug test. This test can be done privately at the workplace, where you receive a test strip and are asked to go to the bathroom, or the future employer can send you to a 3rd party lab to submit the sample of your urine. If that’s the case, the test will be monitored by a lab employee, which is not the most comfortable option as far as we’re concerned
2. Hair Follicle Test
Hair follicle tests are designed to check if a person is a chronic drug user by examining his/her hair follicle sample. They are not effective in detecting drugs in occasional users, though. That being said, if you like to get wild only from time to time, chances are that you will fit within the safe window and test negative for drugs.
3. Blood Analysis
A blood analysis happens to be the most expensive and invasive of all drug testing methods, but it’s also the most accurate. It is able to detect the presence of a substance and its metabolites in blood right at the time of testing. On top of that, blood testing allows lab workers to test the actual amount of drugs in your system. However, the cost and invasiveness of blood analysis make it less popular among employers – if anything, it’s more likely that you will be asked to undergo a blood analysis after a car accident or a similar event.
4. Saliva Test
Although not as popular as urine drug testing, saliva tests are surely becoming more common these days because they are less invasive. Nonetheless, the accuracy of such tests is relatively poor as compared to other forms. They should only be used to detect very recent drug use. For instance, when it comes to cannabinoids, saliva testing can only detect them when a person has smoked cannabis from 4 to 10 hours beforehand.
What Types of Drugs Are Tested on a Drug Test?
As you might have guessed (statistics don’t lie, you know), marijuana is by far the most often tested drug by the U.S. employers. THC, CBD, tinctures, capsules, edibles – they can all be detected on a drug test. 
As for other drugs that are frequently tested for, the list includes amphetamines, opiates, MDMA, benzodiazepines, cocaine, propoxyphene, and phencyclidine (PCP).
Now, since marijuana is the most commonly used ‘drug’, let’s talk about the time during which you can test positive for the presence of THC and its metabolites in your body.
This Is How Long Marijuana Can Stay In Your System
As you probably already know, everyone reacts differently to cannabis use. How long marijuana stays in your system is determined by several factors, but the main ones include your last me-time with weed, how often you consume marijuana in general, metabolism, weight, and body fat.
While one-time and occasional marijuana users have nothing to worry about, for those of you who like to get lit on a regular basis, things get a bit more complicated.
If you’re a chronic marijuana user (this expression sounds like a reefer madness talk, sorry for that), cannabinoids can stay in your blood and urine for up to 90 days after the last toke from the bowl. Nevertheless, most people in good health can usually get rid of THC and its metabolites in anywhere from 30 to 45 days. 
If you smoked once over the weekend at a party, for instance, marijuana can be flushed out of your system in a couple of days, although this period can take up to 10 days on average.
As for the other drugs, they can stay in your system for a few days up to a month in the worst case scenario.
And what about hair tests? Well, a hair follicle analysis can detect THC and other substances for months or even years after the last usage, depending on the type of test. The golden standard for the majority of labs, though, is taking a 1.5-inch sample of head hair; this way, lab workers are able to detect drug usage in the last 30 days.
These Options For Faking a Drug Test Don’t Work (Don’t Get Fooled)
Let’s get this straight once and for all: there is no quick fix that could help you fake a drug test effectively. If you ever come across a miracle solution for getting your dream job while snorting coke the night before, turn your head away and don’t even think of trying this – it’s a scam with a big ‘S’, not to mention that most of them are dangerous to your health and still detectable by testing labs.
- Synthetic Urine – while it may sound like a brilliant idea, it is the worst and the most embarrassing thing you can do to yourself. Using synthetic urine is risky and can get you into troubles with the law.
- Substitution – some people think of substituting someone else’s urine for their sample. Again, you can still be asked to give your urine sample in a lab, under the supervision of the lab’s worker, so the staff will have absolutely no problems with spotting the difference.
- Dilution – yes, diluting your sample with an adulterant is perfectly possible, but you know what? It is as easily detectable, too.
- Home Remedies – for some people who are wondering how to pass a drug test, home remedies are their last resort. As such, they turn to products like cranberry juice, vinegar, bleach, niacin, Certo, or Goldenseal. While natural ingredients are not going to pose threat to your life, they usually don’t work. As for the artificial ones, they can be dangerous for your health, so again, it’s a lose-lose situation.
We guess that you might not be the most enthusiastic person on the planet after reading this. Don’t worry, though, we just like to build tension and feel like the Stephen King of the drug-testing fearmongering.
Here comes the good news.
How to Cleanse Your Body for a Drug Test (This Time Effectively)
While the aforementioned ‘miracle workers’ is something to be particularly wary of, there are still several options to cleanse your body of drugs and thus become ready for your test.
Here’s a brief cheat sheet of what you need to know about the possible detoxification options.
Let’s say you have 30-45 days before undergoing a drug test. If that’s your story, then you’re going to be fine. As long as, of course, you exercise, keep a healthy diet, and drink lots of liquids. If you remain consistent in this regimen, your body will detoxify itself, removing THC or other substances from your blood and urine over time. We have put exercises on the list for a reason. Namely, THC is fat soluble, which means traces of this cannabinoid are stored in your fat cells. Simply put, the more body fat you have, the longer THC will remain in your body.
If you google up information about detoxifying your body from illicit substances, chances are that you will come across a detoxification program. Detoxification programs are targeted at speeding up the body’s natural cleansing process so that your body gets rid of THC in about a week. If you’re not sure if diet and exercises will solve the problem, feel free to use a detoxification program. Some of them come with special home testing kits to see if you are clean before you take an actual drug test.
Cleanse Yourself the Same Day with a Detoxification Drink
Doing drugs when you know that a drug test is coming soon is basically wrong and idiotic, but let’s assume that things went out of control that day and boom! It happened. If your test is coming up sooner than you expected, certain detoxification drinks can flush THC and other substances from your system the same day.
The only catch is that they keep you clean only for a period of four to six hours, so it’s a bit risky. But what about drugs like cocaine? Are such drinks a legitimate solution when it comes to hard drugs? Well, according to Thomas Dobie, a man who used to work in a drug testing laboratory, you would have to be completely out of your mind to fail a drug test for cocaine. Those who use cocaine infrequently – maybe on a Saturday night out with their friends – need only 24 hours to rid their system of the drugs. Chronic users will have to wait a bit longer, perhaps up to 72 hours, although people who are heavily dependant on the drug can have it in their system for up to three weeks.
Don’t Do Drugs
Oh yeah, this is the safest and the most accurate way to ensure you will test negative for all drugs on Earth. It is also cheap, simple, and easy (for most people). Moreover, remember that the majority of companies test their employees for illegal substances according to a 2004 American Management Association (AMA) study, where 61.8% companies admitted to being using such practices .
Interestingly, companies are losing about $80 billion dollars on productivity each year due to drug use, so it’s quite understandable that they want to turn off the tap, but with the current progress on cannabis policies, these drug tests would have to undergo serious changes in order to fight the real problem. 
Unless you work in a particularly safety-sensitive industry like transportation, there is a chance that you will be randomly tested for drugs during your career. Most companies, however, warn their employers about an upcoming drug test, so there’s always some time to prepare for it.
Other Ways to Pass a Drug Test
There are to ways to pass a drug test when you’ve decided to smoke, snort or inject yourself regardless of the warning you’ve received. The first option is to alter your urine sample by getting rid of the evidence of drug use from your system or simply by adding something to your urine once you’re done peeing into a cup, but right before you hand the sample in.
Alternatively, you can use somebody else’s urine. But here, the sad truth is that more times or not, you will get caught. Back then, faking a drug test with urine that wasn’t your own was a particularly popular shortcut to eventually prove clean to your employer, but labs are now more aware of such shady practices. In fact, unwise drug users make it easier for them to spot a fake urine, because most of the times, a sample with additives will be noticeable at first glance.
Soap and Bleach (What the…?!)
Yes, your reaction is correct. Some people believe that soaps, especially dishwasher cleaners, will make a sample test come out negative. As much as we love this conspiracy theory, we regret to say that it may prove disastrous from the very beginning.
Even if the soap doesn’t change the color of your urine, you may very well transfer some bubbles to the sample by accident. And believe us, when lab workers notice bubbling piss, the last thing they will do is leave it unnoticed. Any irregularities in urine require additional tests, so sooner or later, your foul attempt will go down the drain.
We know what you’re thinking, and again, the answer is no, bleach won’t help either. While it is possible that some substance can make you test negative even though you show giveaway signs that you’re far from being clean – such things have happened several times, even in the best labs – bleach won’t work. In fact, it’s likely that scientists will know you’ve added it.
So, instead of trying to fake a urine sample that will probably test positive, you could try detoxifying your systems of the unwanted substances. To cut the long story short, drink lots of liquids before your tests, and urinate frequently. It’s the best way to pass a test according to some long-time veterans.
OTC Drug Testing Kits
Urban legends have it that there are some special drinks and pills available at stores like GNC, which could help you get that dream job without cutting down on what you like to do in your free time (we’re not to judge you). Better yet, you can even buy special shampoos designed for hair tests. However, you will need to look for the products yourself, as store clerks are not that well-informed when it comes to OTC drug testing equipment. But fear not, you’ll know exactly when you’ve found the right kit.
Whether these products work or not, we don’t know. But we’ll tell you something: if we smoked weed on a regular basis and had a drug test coming in 2-3 days, we would try literally anything to help ourselves out – to that we swear!
Flushing your System of THC to Pass a Drug Test
Don’t get us wrong, drinking lots of water or juice, or taking some detoxifying supplements or additional vitamins before taking a drug test will make your urine clean. But some of the used substances will likely be apparent for lab workers, and as such, it can be flagged for extra tests to make sure you’re being honest with your future employer.
That being said, while flushing your system of THC may save you from failing a test, it does not guarantee that you will pass, either. What’s the next stage, then? Well, if your urine raises suspicions, you’ll just gain more time to detoxify before you get tested again. However, keep in mind that you will be closely monitored this time.
Now, for those of you who are really brave, you can use your friend’s urine, but make sure it’s drug-free before you ask your buddy for a favor. If you’re able to pull it off, chances are that you will pass the test because all your employer cares about is that you test negative for drugs, and there’s no test to match the pisser to the piss. If you enjoy some adrenaline rush from time to time, our warnings shouldn’t stave you off.
NFL And Drug Testing
Have you heard about a device known as “The Original Whizzinator”? No? Oh boy, was that a story!
Lat May, Onterrio Smith, a member of the NFL’s Minnesota Vikings was shortly detained by airport security when the staff found a device known as “The Original Whizzinator” in his luggage.
As you might have figured out, the device can help you make your own piss! We’re not going to complain on our times now, because hey, demand generates supply, but the Whizzinator is actually a real thing.
If you don’t have the opportunity to use a friend’s urine sample, you can make your own synthetic urine. All you have to do is learn the proper ratio of water to yellow food dye and creatinine (a byproduct found in all mammals’ urine) to make a sample that will pass a drug test.
We assume that you are one of those people with easy access to creatinine because we all like to fake our piss from time to time (just joking), so as long as you can take care about the proper amount of creatinine in your fake urine, you’re good to go.
Getting Tested for Drugs Soon? Know the Essentials!
Need to know when to go cold turkey when a drug test draws near? There are many charts on the Internet that will give you a hint of how long a certain drug can stay in your system. Remember that these are general figures and for some people, it can take much longer to flush their bodies of toxins.
Here’s how long certain substances can stay in your system:
- THC: 2 days to 11 weeks, depending on your body weight, metabolism, body fat, and how often you consume marijuana 
- Alcohol: 6 to 24 hours (don’t get ultra wasted before taking the test, simple as that)
- Cocaine: 1 to 4 days
- PCP: 3 days to 2 weeks
- Heroin: 2 to 4 days
How to Speed Up the Cleansing of Toxins?
Use a fast-acting body cleanser that will help you test negative for drugs in a period of 4 to 6 hours. It will help you pass the test if you did drugs the day before.
3 – 5 Days
If you have less than a week to detoxify from drugs, you can buy a permanent body cleanser and incorporate it into your detoxification plan to make it worth the effort. Some commercial cleansers also come with home test kits so you can check if you are clean right before the real drug test.
30 – 45 days
This is the period when you can cleanse your body naturally over time with increased physical activity and by drinking lots of liquids. Once you’re done with flushing your body of drugs, head to your local drug store and ask for a drug testing kit to verify you’re all good.
As you can see, the sky’s the limit when it comes to detoxifying your body from drugs, but if you really want to make sure that you’re free from any undesired substances, it’s best to abstain from using them for some time. This is by far the fastest, cheapest, and the most effective way to pass a drug test. Nonetheless, any casual drug user should be in the clear after 11 weeks, so unless you get hammered the night before your test or you snort coke like a vacuum cleaner, a little bit of patience and a pinch of common sense should do the job.
- Goodwin R., Darwin W., Chiang C., Shih M., Li S., Huestis M. (2008). Urinary Elimination of 11-Nor-9-carboxy- 9-tetrahydrocannnabinol in Cannabis Users During Continuously Monitored Abstinence, J Anal Toxicol. 2008 Oct; 32(8): 562–569
- Normand J., Lempert R., O’Brien C (1994). Under the Influence? Drugs and the American Work Force, Washington (DC), National Academies Press (US)
- The Latest Survey on Workplace Monitoring and Surveillance, American Management Association (2007)
- Cary P. L. (2006). Drug Court Practitioner Fact Sheet. The Marijuana Detection Window: Determining the Length of Time Cannabinoids Will Remain Detectable in Urine Following Smoking. Vol. IV, No. 2, National Drug Court Institute